Lynn Lott Therapy Talk

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A group of teachers spent a day in a Positive Discipline in the Classroom  workshop.  One of the activities they did was on top card, which was an opportunity to learn more about their personality style.  (You can learn more about Top Card by reviewing previous posts or visiting www.lynnlott.com and click on Try This.)  The idea was to look at the assets of their top card in the classroom as well as their top card liabilities as teachers.  After they brainstormed these two lists, they asked people who look at the world through different filters to give them feedback about what they could work on in the classroom.  Three of the four top cards were represented in the workshop:  Control, Pleasing, and Superiority.  Here are their lists:

Control Assets:  Take charge by establishing routines and being organized; multi-taks with the ability to accomplish a lot and work with individual groups; crisis manager who can maintain order, safety and first aid; the ability to wing-it and think fast on their feet and make things up as they go; accountability; trustworthy; patient with others; able to take time for self.  Their bumper sticker might say:  But enough about me; what do you think about me?

Control Liabilities:  Invite power struggles, procrastinate by putting off correcting homework or planning; make mountains out of mole hills; get overwhelmed; judgmental and critical; not patient with selves; expect too much of selves; withdraw; catastrophize; deal with other people’s issues instead of their own; bossy; flustered when kids are off task or loud.

Suggestions from other top card personalities:  Just tell us what you want so we can figure out how to deal with you and solve the problem.   Tell us when you’re getting overwhelmed instead of acting it out.  The response was:  If only we could.

Pleasing Assets:  We make things fun and create ways for people to be involved while making learning painless; empathetic by taking time to listen and understand others’ needs and give them what they need; positivity with lots of encouragement, give hope, don’t hold grudges, and stress that everyday is a fresh start; good listeners and open minded by respecting and eliciting others’ opinions and drawing them out as well as being willing to be wrong and apologize.

Pleasing Liabilities in the classroom:  not being open and honest; holding back opinions or ideas because we want to be liked; retreating from conflict and pretending everything is fine when it’s not; focusing on pleasing the most negative person which results in taking away time and energy from well behaving students.

Suggestions from other top card personalities:  Say what’s on your mind and remember that others like you regardless of your opinions.  Be brave, take a deep breath, and say “NO.”

Superiority Assets:  We know everything; we have clear boundaries; we get everything done; we’re always revising to make things better; we’re reflective; tolerant; creative; humorous; we have high standards.

Superiority Liabilities:  sometimes we don’t hear/acknowledge others expertise; perfection; expect too much; don’t ask for help; insulting/rude; crash because we don’t take care of what we should; avoidance of uncomfortable tasks; overachieve; too much pressure on ourselves/students; intolerant of people/students who don’t push themselves or whom we perceive as “ignorant” or lazy.

Suggestions from other top cards:  Have an agreement that others can tell you when you’re playing your top card to help you be aware; use the expression, “I notice” instead of being critical or judgmental.  Make it safe for the kids to make mistakes and try again.