November 1, 2009
Once again, if you prefer listening to the session, follow the link: mod_rec_dylan_29_Jun_2009_14_03_23
If you prefer a bit of introduction first, read on. I received an email from Dylan’s mom telling me that one of his friends had died from an overdose. She thought Dylan might want to talk about it and wanted to alert me. She must experience the Dylan who, when asked what he’d like to talk about says, “Nothing,” and when asked how he feels, says, “Fine.”
Since Dylan had given his permission, I also had his mom’s list of other topics she wanted Dylan to explore. The list included the following: Dylan said he’s paranoid all the time and guilty about living while others are dying; dealing with his 23 year old cousin; and getting weird thoughts.
You’ll notice that we jump from topic to topic. Dylan may think this is his ADHD, but I’d venture a guess that for whatever reason, he’s not that into our session today. I work at getting Dylan to share his feelings and finally decide that perhaps he’d like to learn something rather than continue this parry back and forth.
I introduce Dylan to my definition of stress and what it’s like to fall into the land of discouragement where people struggle with issues of identity, power, justice, and skills. (I’m not sure if any of this is helpful, but later I hear from his Mom that Dylan was trying to teach her what he learned to help her with her stress.)
Notice that Dylan says he sets the bar low for himself so he doesn’t feel bad about himself. Not a great solution, really. He also believes he has power over himself regarding his drinking, but this is an illusion. (His mother reported a terrifying event on 7/29 where Dylan was so drunk he was threatening his parents and then ripped off his shirt and showed his mom that he had carved “Fuck you’ on his chest. He’s also been cutting himself and not sleeping much. I realize that some people think people suffer from other mental illnesses and drink to calm things down, but in my experience, all that Dylan’s mom is reporting goes away when someone stops drinking abusively.) (more…)
You may simply want to listen to this session and come to your own conclusions. If so, click on the link and read no farther. rec_dylan_25_Jun_2009_15_35_23
This was a very tough session. On the one hand, Dylan says he wants to be in therapy, but his actions are those of constant resistance. I asked Dylan why he would want to talk with me since he loves his life so much. He reminds me that he’s doing this to help me, which I appreciate, but I suggest that we both want to get something out of this so it’s not one-sided. (We’re interrupted by the news that Michael Jackson died, which means that Dylan is probably watching TV while we talk.)
When asked what he’d like to talk about, Dylan said that he didn’t have a clue, so I gave a lot of choices and Dylan told me to pick one and surprise him. I asked, “How will your life be at 22,” to which he replied that he can’t think 5 minutes ahead. I pushed and asked, “Where do you see yourself living at 22? Is your current lifestyle what you aspire to?” Dylan tells me he’d like to learn to live without money and be a vagabond. I’m not sure if this is the magical thinking of a teen’s rebellion against adult or societal values, or if he’s pulling my leg.
The conversation about money leads to how much the times were better when Dylan and his family lived with Grandma which began when he was 9. When she died they were homeless. Before that, Dylan spent time skate boarding, riding bikes, hanging out, and building a tree house with his dad. (more…)
Best laid plans and all that…this session didn’t get taped. I got stuck trying to figure out the internal microphone and hadn’t bought a headset yet. Dylan was unruffled which helped. In fact Dylan is a live and let live guy most of the time, but when he’s not, well, you’ll see. But since this was my first session with Dylan, I’ll highlight what we talked about during our hour.
Dylan told me about his recent hospitalization from April 10 to May 30. He had a bacterial infection that shut down all of his systems. He lost all muscle memory and had to relearn to talk, walk, eat, and more. He faced his own immortality which according to him has made him into a hypochondriac now. Even a little sore throat freaks him out, which is only natural. Most people would find a trauma like this to be life-altering. For Dylan, it didn’t seem to interrupt his path of defiance, anger, and teenage acting out. (more…)
On 6/4/09 seventeen year old Dylan and I began an experiment. I had an idea that some of my clients might be willing to give permission for others to listen in on our sessions. My thinking was that since so many things that happen in a session are issues lots of people have, sharing the sessions might be a way of helping others who weren’t in therapy.
After speaking with Dylan’s mom about this project, she suggested I ask Dylan if he would be willing to help me as I learned how to record sessions and upload them to my blog. Dylan said he would like to do that and was fully aware that the sessions we did together would be made public. He was comfortable with that and gave his full permission (as did his mom). Dylan’s willingness to help outshone my ability to accomplish the technical part of this transaction. It’s now November and I’m finally ready to post our sessions to my blog. What we’re ending up with are 4 sessions, one of which I summarize because it didn’t get recorded due to my technological inexperience.
Both the sessions and the technical parts have been a big challenge for me. There are clients with whom I work fluidly and success starts right in the first few interactions I have with them. There are other clients who, for any variety of reasons, are a tougher sell. Dylan fell into that category, so the progress was so tiny that there were times it was barely observable. Sometimes it seemed that Dylan was as resistant to therapy as I was to learning the technical aspects of the project.
Even though the sessions don’t represent a typical experience in therapy, over the years I’ve come to trust the process of therapy, knowing that people do get something from the experience that is positive and life changing for them, even if it’s not always exactly what I had in mind. My hope is that Dylan will experience the positives and that you as a listener will learn something helpful, too.
