Lynn Lott Therapy Talk

Come to Lynn Lott with questions and leave
with answers that enrich your life and
the lives of others

One of the fun parts of my job as a therapist is learning from my clients.  They are such great teachers.  The other day, one of them said, “I just want to make new mistakes instead of making the same ones over and over again.”  What a concept.  We all know it’s non-productive to keep doing what doesn’t work over and over expecting a different outcome.  It’s magical thinking, time wasting, and insanity!  Hopefully we also know that making mistakes is a way to learn, so giving ourselves permission to make new mistakes is giving permission to be a learner.  This comment came from someone who has lived her life trying to cover all the bases so she would never make a mistake.  Not only is that impossible, but it’s certainly stopped her growth.  Now she’s got a plan that will work for her and a way to encourage herself to grow and change. 

Another client thanked me for the navigational tools she’s learned in therapy.  It’s not an expression I would have used, but I love it, because that’s really what happens in therapy when it’s working.  It’s one thing to create awareness and acceptance in my office; it’s another thing to take what my clients have learned out into the real world to help them navigate life. 

One of the navigational tools folks learn when they work with me is called top card, which is all about personality differences and how to be accepting and appreciative of them.  Another navigational tool is to be aware of their feelings and learn how to name them, express them, and honor them without damaging others in the process.  Acceptance and objectiveness and humor are other tools.  When they’re working, my clients can step back and look at themselves and others with amusement, fascination, and curiosity.  Many of my clients work with their childhood memories, but not in the way you might think.  What we’re looking for is the information hidden in the memory that can help them be more realistic about who they are and how they view life, others, and what their game plan for living is.

A third client said to me after working her way through a session, “So what you’re saying is that I have to tell people what I need?”  When I stopped and thought about it, yes, it was exactly what I was saying, but not in such a consice and helpful way.  Since she mentioned it, that expression has helped many others who have come through my door as well as helping me get clearer in my own relationships.

I’m excited to add something new to my blog.  With the help of Ken Ainge, techie extraordinaire, I’ll be working on publishing a regular feature for LynnLottTherapy Talk.  It’s called “Conversations with Lynn.”  Each week I’ll be interviewing someone who has an issue who, by sharing it on the Internet, would like to help others learn and help themselves in the process.  The interviews can be found at http://feeds.feedburner.com/LynnLottTherapyTalk or can be downloaded for free from iTunes. 

In the first interview, Ken and I talk about therapy (Is it for sissies?), resistence (It’s better to accept or ignore your problems), getting stuck in the either/or lack of clear choices, top card personality test, the joys and woes of avoiding, what is stress and how is it different for everyone, and finally, Ken’s philosophy of right way/wrong way/my way.