Lynn Lott Therapy Talk

Come to Lynn Lott with questions and leave
with answers that enrich your life and
the lives of others

It’s a hot topic, right?  Don’t get stressed.  Are you stressed?  How do you feel less stress?  Reduce stress!  Live stress-free, and on and on and on.  Here’s a simple explanation of stress.  Think about it.  If you think life should be one way and it is another way, the space in between those two thoughts is called stress.  Different things stress different people and people handle stress in many different ways.  The trick to reducing stress is to narrow the space between the two lines (see video below).  That involves either changing your expectations or changing your life.  Easier said than done, but possible, and it doesn’t take a pill to do it.  What’s wrong with a pill, you ask?  Maybe nothing, but for many of us, we’d prefer to work on the deeper issues rather than medicate ourselves.  We like to know there are choices, which there are!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA2Cfee_JPA&feature=youtube_gdata

Once again, if you prefer listening to the session, follow the link:  mod_rec_dylan_29_Jun_2009_14_03_23

If you prefer a bit of introduction first, read on.  I received an email from Dylan’s mom telling me that one of his friends had died from an overdose.  She thought Dylan might want to talk about it and wanted to alert me.  She must experience the Dylan who, when asked what he’d like to talk about says, “Nothing,” and when asked how he feels, says, “Fine.”  

Since Dylan had given his permission, I also had his mom’s list of other topics she wanted Dylan to explore.  The list included the following:  Dylan said he’s paranoid all the time and guilty about living while others are dying; dealing with his 23 year old cousin; and getting weird thoughts. 

You’ll notice that we jump from topic to topic.  Dylan may think this is his ADHD, but I’d venture a guess that for whatever reason, he’s not that into our session today.  I work at getting Dylan to share his feelings and finally decide that perhaps he’d like to learn something rather than continue this parry back and forth. 

I introduce Dylan to my definition of stress and what it’s like to fall into the land of discouragement where people struggle with issues of identity, power, justice, and skills.  (I’m not sure if any of this is helpful, but later I hear from his Mom that Dylan was trying to teach her what he learned to help her with her stress.) 

Notice that Dylan says he sets the bar low for himself so he doesn’t feel bad about himself.  Not a great solution, really.  He also believes he has power over himself regarding his drinking, but this is an illusion.  (His mother reported a terrifying event on 7/29 where Dylan was so drunk he was threatening his parents and then ripped off his shirt and showed his mom that he had carved “Fuck you’ on his chest.  He’s also been cutting himself and not sleeping much.  I realize that some people think people suffer from other mental illnesses and drink to calm things down, but in my experience, all that Dylan’s mom is reporting goes away when someone stops drinking abusively.)  (more…)

I’m excited to add something new to my blog.  With the help of Ken Ainge, techie extraordinaire, I’ll be working on publishing a regular feature for LynnLottTherapy Talk.  It’s called “Conversations with Lynn.”  Each week I’ll be interviewing someone who has an issue who, by sharing it on the Internet, would like to help others learn and help themselves in the process.  The interviews can be found at http://feeds.feedburner.com/LynnLottTherapyTalk or can be downloaded for free from iTunes. 

In the first interview, Ken and I talk about therapy (Is it for sissies?), resistence (It’s better to accept or ignore your problems), getting stuck in the either/or lack of clear choices, top card personality test, the joys and woes of avoiding, what is stress and how is it different for everyone, and finally, Ken’s philosophy of right way/wrong way/my way.